wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize