So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize