Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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