Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I woke up under a house in Key West
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