Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize