why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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