i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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