i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize