I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize