our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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