I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize