I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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