im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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