he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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