You really coming over, don't trick.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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