A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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