Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
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can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Randomize