you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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