Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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