I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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