i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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