I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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