I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize