Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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