I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize