Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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