I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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