why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize