He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize