Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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