I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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