Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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