My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Everclear isn't food dammit
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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