butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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