she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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