last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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