I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
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A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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