You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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