Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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