Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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