I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Get your heels and tits on! Iβm not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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