i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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