so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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