First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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