i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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