so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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