i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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