And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize