hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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