i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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