I want to walk on stilts...naked
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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