you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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