i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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